i asked one thing, just one thing from you
to give me all the love that you could
you told me first i must do as you say
so i waited for your love every night and day.

i closed my eyes and with a deep breath
set on to work on the missions ahead
cuz i needed to finish as fast as i could
and do it all perfectly like you always would.

but then your conditions kept growing more
it'll be all over soon, you swore
you told me to follow all the things you say
so i waited for your love every night and day.

and then just when i thought i did it all,
you looked at me but from behind a wall
but i did everything you told me to do
every moment, every heartbeat, every breath was for you.

you look at me uninterested with your cold eyes
i'm starting to see your promises were lie
such a fool still doing everything you say
still waiting for your love every night and day...

this is dedicated to a very precious friend..livestrong my friend..we love u..

Look at the sun, so warm, so bright

they say it beats evil and gives life

its radiance, its beauty and its might

to be strong as his sun, he strives.

But why is his sun getting eclipsed

Streams of dark rays penetrating his skin

as he runs around to get a glimpse of light

against the enclosing darkness he tries to win.

Fading light brings in the pain

he fights, he writhers to get up

but the shadows clasp onto his body

he fights on, never does he stop.

Losing breath is easier than hope

why do you believe against it they ask

night after night he talks to himself

wonder what fuels his desire to live.

He says he is restless and impatient

he says he hasnt lived, how can he leave?

a dream takes birth in his heart

for her he fights, her faith, her belief.

He says he closes his eyes and dreams this dream

holding her and walking towards the horizon

he looks at the sleepy earth silent after a war

then he smiles at the sky as his sun shines on.

past tense.

i have always had the habit of scribbling down poems in whatever paper pieces i could get.. was going through some old notebooks and found a piece. dont remember when i wrote it, but im guessing its atleast 2 years old. going through my own poems i feel im kinda psychotic. i've been this crazy since forever. and i continue to be so. so here's another story. enjoy.

her hands are burning, flames all around

a glint in her eye and her face turns a frown

tears are coming but she wont break down

she's gotta fight, let the blood stain the ground.

hungry eyes look at her, dark like nightfall

tension rising, it cannot be stalled

crouched and alert ready for brawl

he smashes his fist at her, and hits the dry wall.

she stands still holding his face

he breathes hard trying to make sense

they look at each other, everything in haze

rage to passion binds them in a cage.

slowly beauty turns to beast

she takes a gun and thrusts into his fist

as she shoots her heart breaks to bits

he holds her close to steal a last kiss.

flames to ashes under the moon

he hums her a lullaby tune

she sleeps silent as he feels marooned

he takes the gun andd says "see you soon".

her silent stare so full of words
waiting to be shed like rain
on the lies that seem so real
on the truth that seems so feigned.

startled emotions leave her hollow
her soul drowns in its depth
her voice seems distant
as she tries to live through her death.

mistaken faith shatter like empty vases
leaving dead roses at her feet
she has no place to escape
the walls around her burn with deceit.

love trickles away beyond life
into a sunset never to rise
feeding the worms that erode her trust
muffling her unworthy cries.

she falls on her knees without her pride
his shadow sweeps over her face that wept
running away from the screaming present
her last memory of his red footsteps..

hey you, standing there in the light

while i hide in the dark from you

you stand there with arms open wide

like a mirage of love and happiness too.

you smile at me assuring i'll be safe

but why does it chill my bones

step by step i come closer to you

your touch feels cold as stone.

i shiver in your embrace, my heart beats fast

all my senses tell me to run

you tighten your grasp as you feel my doubt

crushing my defences as they leave me stunned.

i try to breathe but my lungs feel week

drowning in all your love and care

i try to break free but you're too strong

you see me die slowly as you just stare.

how can you hurt me so deep

like a blade slowly pushing deeper into my vein

you're smothering me, this cant be called love

the scarlet sky bleeds on us as it rains.

its not your mission to run my life

its not parenting if you kill your child

let me mend my broken wings

and learn my way through the wild.

but my pleads you dont hear

you rule my world with your iron hand

as my heart goes numb under the hurt

my tears dissapear under the waves of sand.

smile

i was in college...getting bored as usual...so i came up with this after a friend asked me why i abandoned my blog...so here it goes...



such a grey morning, clouds invade the sky
i wake up and put up a smile
walk out of my room, dark corridors lead the way
tredding on a path of stone, for countless miles.

in the shadows and around every corner
judgemental eyes glare into my soul
their words all harsh like a soliloquy of death
the mask of a clown hides me whole.

they all see me smile and wonder why
"what are her secrets, are her spirits sold?"
"how can it be that joy chose that witch?"
but they never see how my heart has gone cold.

so many years as i cried alone
no one was there to be with me for a while
helpless did i learn to stand all alone
and painted on my scars a misleading smile.

my life, my words, my soul, my love
all lie bare open for them to treat unfair
my silence like a joker's tear, nobody understands
my grief is all mine, and not to be shared.

i smile for the world, i smile to its people
but they hold it as a crime, those pessimist born
with my cold heart and a warm laugh
on the stone path, i carry on...

this is a real story about a person very close to me..she is a middle aged woman now, and she told me long ago that "when it really matters, you're really alone"..after a rough few weeks i thought about her and wrote this for her..for the record, she never found what she needed..

Love don’t last and friends don’t stay
Empty promises fade away
Tears roll down with no one to see
A lonely heart alone it sleeps.

On a day so blue, and skies so grey
I look at the photos on the wall
A group of friends smiling wide
They don’t resemble reality at all.
A song I hum along so much
Of joy, of fun, times low and high
Of seasons in sun and splashes in rain
But like seasons, the good times pass on by.

A desperate search for a human face
Who would stand by me till the end
In joy or sorrow in sickness or health
Someone to be my true friend.
The journey of life has taught so much
Naïve expectations better not made
For every person breathes selfish desires
When it truly matters, you’re alone, its said.

Often I found someone to trust
Often a fool while giving all to them
Needs fulfilled, they walked away
Leaving behind only the pain.
Words of faith and care misused
In shallow smiles they enticed me
Now words lay broken without love
With a wounded trust left to bleed.

The smiles in photos look ugly
Like corpses of betrayal and sin
Inhuman face of cherished friend
Leaves me terrified within.
Twenty years I search and fail
For a friendship stronger than storms
Twenty years I bruise and bleed
In false promises and fake bonds.

Through the years my mind gets jaded
With thoughts of a cursed destiny
Am I disturbed or just depressed?
Alone forever meant to be.
So it seems that love don’t last and friends don’t stay
The empty promises fade away
Tears roll down with no one to see
My lonely heart alone it sleeps.