there will be no further posts here before 2010..

They stare at this girl watching her mess up her life
They shake their heads disappointed
‘cause she’s not worth their time.

As she falls every step and bruises her grace
She wipes a tear from her eyes and picks herself up with a brave face.

They judge her by looks and the way she talks and dresses
Well this little girl couldn’t but care any less.

She tries to win but keeps falling apart
Somebody needs to save her
And rebuild her heart
And hold her and love her forever.

Caged and alone she looks at the sky
Praying to heaven and seeking deliverance
She’s strong on the outside and she doesn’t care
But inside she’s longing for acceptance.

Voices around her tell her she’s not worthy of love or respect or a dream
All lies people tell are turning to truth to her it seems.

With a broken spirit she puts on a smile
Searching the crowd to see if she finds
The one who will tell her all will be right
And together all worries they’ll fight.

So they keep watching this girl everyday
Her every way they condemn
She hangs onto her faith and just smiles at them.

She hopes she will soon be saved from this place
In a fantasy world she’ll find her lost grace
She’ll walk hand in hand singing a song
That’s where she dreams to belong..

It’s a strange thing, feelings…it can strengthen you, or cripple you. I’ve seen people fall in love and then get hurt. And yet they say “it was worth it” and agree to go through all that all over again.
This is dedicated to love songs, ccd, and long chats..

You were my strength and my smile
But you let me fall
You had my heart, my soul
My breath, my mind, my all.
As the clouds eclipse the moon
You left me alone in the rain
I lift my head to the crying sky
It gently washes away my pain.
Seasons come and pass on by
All the wounds heal with time
I got no regrets from my past
I’m glad for a while that you were mine.
All the wrongs that we had done
All the screams and all the tears
They seem to not matter now
And I seem to not fear.
Although trust and faith were broken
Like a drug its in my vein
After all the lessons learnt
I would still want to love again.

They say love comes so easy
They say its patient and is kind
They believe whats not real
Its tears and smiles entwined.

They say love is pure and peaceful
They say it does not envy or boast
Well they may not know
Its full of doubt and sacrifice of most.

They say love is not self seeking
They say its not angered, is not rude
We dunno who they are
But know that love makes you more crude.

They say love is truth, is not evil
It keeps no record of our wrongs
But soon this promise fades
It remains no happy song.

They say love protects and brings hope
It trusts and preserves these vows
Love cannot simply be stated in words
It slowly turns to dust, nothing lasts forever now.

Love is all these things
And also none of these
To some its elixir of life
To others it robs them of peace.

Love can make us be so hollow
Yet we submit ourselves to this crime
Living through its curses and boons
We blindly follow our hearts and close our minds.

shades of me

if anyone asks me what a relationship is i can go on discussing pros cons wants desires turn ons turn offs...but honestly i dont know what it truly is. i think i'll be bad at it cuz there's a part of me which doesnt want to belong to anyone. and then there's a lil part which wants to know for once how it feels to belong. the conflict inside me has just been let out and so im sharing this composition today. i wrote it in school, class 9. i was not in any relationships and no i have not been ditched, betrayed or dumped. yet i know you'll question me why i write such stuffs..well thats the mystery..

shade 1:

I close my eyes when I see a glass
Afraid to look at myself
I don’t know what I have become
But I don’t need any of your help.

Don’t ask me to share myself
I got no stories to tell
I’ve closed my heart long ago
Emotions drag you to hell.

I don’t wanna know if u like me
No I don’t see a future
I’m messed up dealing with present
Don’t care about others for sure.

I have a wall around me built
No I don’t want u to enter
Leave me alone as with me
You’re not my emotion’s centre.

Love is lie, to hell with it
Never needed never wanna get
So overrated is this commitment
Get a job, get a life you wont regret.

If I am mean, if I am rude
I’m that for a reason
Emotions will make you weak
Get rid of it with new season.

I may end up with me and all alone
Its great, I love myself
But I wont be broken, I don’t need fixing
I don’t need any f your help.


shade 2:

I look at me in others eyes
Feel so trapped inside
Afraid to let my guards down
In my shadows I hide.

I close my eyes and feel him there
Someone somewhere for me
Its just a dream I design
To save me from misery.

I try to freeze my bleeding heart
dunno why it hurts
I’ve never been hurt in reality
But still I keep falling apart.

I wanna be saved from drowning myself
Wanna be saved from me
Deeper and deeper I hide my emotions
Hateful I try to be.

I dunno why I am so
Why cant I let myself out
There’s a part of me which wants love
While the other fills me with doubt.



Two shades of me I live with
It seems I love to hate
Tearing myself from inside
I let darkness rules my fate.

feel the love

she closes her eyes and it scares her
demons of her past come haunting
she shivers and reaches out
but the emptiness around is so taunting.
No one there to hold her close
To make her feel safe tonight
The shadows keep calling her name
She fights back with all her might.

He sits alone staring blank
Thoughts playing on his mind
He thinks of her being all alone
He’s more cruel to her than kind.
He doesn’t know why he treats her so
Though he needs her and loves her more than breath
But the beast comes out when he feels her
Slowly strangling her to her death.

Twenty five years its been
They lived and loved forever more
Smiles and cheers lighting their faces
With dark eyes and their crumbling core.
Love was just a sadist’s show
While reality tore them from inside
Abuses and curses bruised their hearts
Which their rings and vows did hide.

I see them smile, see them cry
Roses and thorns side by side
They promise eternity always
To spread their love far and wide.
They scream in pain and force a smile
Uproot the flowers and kill the dove
They poison each others lives
I smile and ask, do you feel the love?