shades of me

if anyone asks me what a relationship is i can go on discussing pros cons wants desires turn ons turn offs...but honestly i dont know what it truly is. i think i'll be bad at it cuz there's a part of me which doesnt want to belong to anyone. and then there's a lil part which wants to know for once how it feels to belong. the conflict inside me has just been let out and so im sharing this composition today. i wrote it in school, class 9. i was not in any relationships and no i have not been ditched, betrayed or dumped. yet i know you'll question me why i write such stuffs..well thats the mystery..

shade 1:

I close my eyes when I see a glass
Afraid to look at myself
I don’t know what I have become
But I don’t need any of your help.

Don’t ask me to share myself
I got no stories to tell
I’ve closed my heart long ago
Emotions drag you to hell.

I don’t wanna know if u like me
No I don’t see a future
I’m messed up dealing with present
Don’t care about others for sure.

I have a wall around me built
No I don’t want u to enter
Leave me alone as with me
You’re not my emotion’s centre.

Love is lie, to hell with it
Never needed never wanna get
So overrated is this commitment
Get a job, get a life you wont regret.

If I am mean, if I am rude
I’m that for a reason
Emotions will make you weak
Get rid of it with new season.

I may end up with me and all alone
Its great, I love myself
But I wont be broken, I don’t need fixing
I don’t need any f your help.


shade 2:

I look at me in others eyes
Feel so trapped inside
Afraid to let my guards down
In my shadows I hide.

I close my eyes and feel him there
Someone somewhere for me
Its just a dream I design
To save me from misery.

I try to freeze my bleeding heart
dunno why it hurts
I’ve never been hurt in reality
But still I keep falling apart.

I wanna be saved from drowning myself
Wanna be saved from me
Deeper and deeper I hide my emotions
Hateful I try to be.

I dunno why I am so
Why cant I let myself out
There’s a part of me which wants love
While the other fills me with doubt.



Two shades of me I live with
It seems I love to hate
Tearing myself from inside
I let darkness rules my fate.